The press and media is agog with stories of celebrities caught cheating on their loyal partners. While, there is a huge uproar on the issue, the reporters never dig anything deeper (like surviving infidelity) besides the racy and clickbait headlines. The least they do is ask some poignant questions like: Will they reconcile or will they rebuild their relationship?
This question however not just relates to the public figures but every couple who go through the same phase when one of them strays – whether they live in a rented 1BHK or have a huge mansion. So, when one of the partner has broken their promise of fidelity, how can their spouse forgive them and learn to trust again?
The simple and quick answer is, “not quickly. not easily.”
Surviving Infidelity: How To Rebuild the Trust After You Have Been Cheated?
Rebuilding the trust in your spouse after infidelity is the most toilsome obstacle to overcome when you are recovering from your spouse’s extra marital affair.
Nevertheless, it is a very hard decision to make – getting yourself ready to trust your cheating partner once again. Besides, even though both of you are progressing whilst trying to work things out, there is always a part in you that is holding you back. No wonder, there is always certain questions in the back of your mind, making you think, ‘where was he’, ‘with whom was he’ or ‘who was he chatting or talking to.’
However, you want to trust him again, but giving that same level of trust back seems to be very difficult. How can you give all your heart over to him once again when they have hurt you so badly? Besides, the question pops in regularly, “What if he betrays me again?”
As difficult as it appears, good news is that a broken trust can be repaired and rebuilt in most of the cases. Yes, you heard that right surviving infidelity is possible!
It is still possible to have enough trust in your boyfriend/husband in spite of the ugly fact that he cheated on you. But it will take time. After all, even the simplest well grained habits takes time to change.
Building the trust all over again is not a rocket science, having said that, it is neither a simple walk in the park. But, it can definitely be done. ‘Patience’ is a absolute key if you are dead serious about rebuilding your trust with your husband.
It is a two way affair, so firstly, going forward your spouse most behave in a trustworthy manner and secondly, you must trust him again, consistently.
Lies destroy trust so no matter how insignificant the lie is, your husband must not tell you any sort of lie.
Now that choosing to trust him again is the only thing if you want to save your marriage, you have to make a conscious decision and make your mind as well as heart to trust him again.
You will have to commit to trust him timely, over and over again. Well, on a regular basis, maybe daily or even on an hourly basis. There can be times when certain doubts creep in your mind and feelings of ‘not trusting him’ will become overwhelming.
Surviving Infidelity: What Can You Do When ‘Doubts’ Of Trusting Him Creeps in Your Mind?
At such times, you can simply use a positive affirmation to overcome all your doubts on your husband. Simply affirm it by saying –
- I am choosing to trust my husband (his name) again.
- I’m loyal to my husband and my husband is loyal to me.
- I have a loving and loyal husband
- Every day my marriage is getting better and better
- I’m devoted to my husband and my husband is devoted to me
Repeating this daily or whenever ‘doubt’ creeps in your mind will help you to get over the hurdle so that you can bounce back on the track.
Always remember that ‘trust’ is not something which you force on someone, that is ‘blind trust’. So, they will have to earn it by willing to be open and transparent with you, by answering all your queries, and most importantly by accepting the fact that you will take time to trust him again.
Also, both of you should realize that rebuilding trust isn’t an overnight thing. You can’t simply wake up in the morning and get over it, so try to be as patient as possible. After all, you need to give your husband enough time to show you that he can be trustworthy again so that you can trust him consistently.
Healing a betrayed heart and a broken marriage is a lengthy and taxing process. It is painful, hard and it takes a lot more out of you than you would expect with lots of time than you would even imagine.
Yet, if you as a couple are ready to give yourself into the healing process and believe in the ideals of commitment that originally brought you together in the first place then something new and divine will definitely emerge; a bond that is not only stronger and wiser but also more resilient than ever before.