The Curious Case of Narendra Modi

Narendra Modi is one person whose life history is beyond imagination.

I have tried to jot down his life’s timeline and once you read it, you will know why I say this.

Age: 1-15 years (1950 – 1965)

– DOB: 17th Sept 1950 (as in public domain)
– DOB: 29th August 1949 (as per his pre-science admission papers)
– Born in a poor family
– Went to shakha
– Went to high school
– Begged for food
– Stole mangoes from “farm”
– Sold tea at railway station
– Clicked pictures wearing a suit and tie
– Played with crocodiles

Age 15-30 years (1966-1980)

– Completed his HSC education
– Got married to Jashodaben
– Left Jashodaben
– Went to Himalayas. Climbed to 25,000 ft height
– Clicked pictures in Himalayas
– Wandered all across India
– Worked in his Uncle’s canteen
– Became full time pracharak of RSS
– Went underground during Emergency
– Did BA from Delhi University (External) in 1978
– Still begged for food

Age: 30-45 years (1981-1995)

– Did MA in Entire Political Science from Gujarat University (External)
– Topped University in 1983
– Continued to beg for food till 1986
– Clicked pictures with Digital Camera in 1988
– Sent emails to Delhi in 1988 with attached photographs
– Went to US, clicked pictures outside Universal Studios
– Organized Rath Yatra in 1990
– Wrote and published 6 books
– Has material for 3-4 more books which he doesnt get time to write
– Helped BJP win Gujarat State elections in 1995 by his own strategy
– Cut off sleeves of his long sleeved Kurtas instead of buying short sleeved kurtas directly 
– Washed his own clothes

Age: 45-60 years (1996-2015)

– Helped BJP win Assembly elections in 1998 
– Became BJP General Secretary (organiztion)
– Became CM of Gujarat in 2001
– Wept during 2002 saying, “Mera Gujarat Jall raha hai”
– Held a flag in his hand urging people forward while military was firing all around him (source: Modi’s biopic starring VivekANAND Oberoi)
– Gave speeches
– Gave more speeches
– Became PM of India in 2014
– Still does not keep a wallet because he has no money.

Age: 60 till date (2015-NOW)

– Visited 59 countries
– Spent around $ 1 billion on advertisements and foreign trips as per Livemint
– Showed Laal Laal Ankhen to China
– Replied China in Mandarin (Unhi ki bhasha mein jawab)
– Ate Biryani with Nawaz Sharif
– Played drums
– Played Sitar
– Played some weird looking violin
– Played a clarinet
– Wore different kind of hats
– Wore a Rs. 10 lakh costing self name engraved suit
– Changed clothes 3 times in a day
– Did not sleep more than 4 hours in the night (not sure how much he slept in the day)
– Sat through the Surgical Strikes without drinking a drop of water
– Took selfies of himself during the Phulwama attack
– Gave expert advice on Cloud Radar Technology to Military experts
– Personally entered houses and killed terrorists …”Maine Ghar mein ghus ke aatankvaadiyon ko maara” 
– Clicked pictures with his Mother
– Took Re 1 and 25 paise from her everytime he visited her…. Aaj bhi..
– Ate food with his Mother
– Snatched her napkin and wiped his own mouth 😛
– Told people to sell Pakodas
– Became a Chowkidar, himself.
– Is considered to be one of the most humble, down to earth, simple man from a poor family.

I might have missed a few things here, I am pretty sure I did, but as you can see, this man, Modi has had an astounding life. Infact its so astounding that its almost unbelievable.

But ofcourse, I believe it and I am sure you do too.

My humble salutes to the Man whose timeline of life is stranger than the timeline of all Avengers put together.

The article was first published by Darshan Mondkar on his Facebook Timeline.

Disclaimer: This post has been based on various interviews of Narendra Modi and the claims he has made in them along with information available on Internet, Wikipedia and Bhakt pages. Do not question its authenticity or you will be sent to Pakistan. #ModiHaiToMumkinHai #PhirDildoModiKo 

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