For those who have been labelled grumpy, hyper, bad-tempered, cranky, hot-tempered, you know anger is easy to come by. And why wouldn’t it be, the world, after all, is full of critics, haters, competitors, ditchers and promise breakers who leave no stones unturned in making us go crazy at the drop of a hat.
And if you are anything like me and million others who get easily annoyed, you know that this completely normal human emotion can bring tsunami in your head – disturbing not just your mental peace but also your overall wellbeing for weeks and months.
Also, anger isn’t something that can evaporate all of a sudden. However, the good thing is that anger is nothing but energy and going by the law of the thermodynamics it sure as hell can be transformed from one form to another. Luckily, over the years (through hard ways of course!) I have learnt the art of transforming my anger into a disciplined energy called compassion and here in the article, I am sharing the simple recipe with which you too can transform your anger into compassion.
So Let Me Share with You a Simple Secret to Transform Your Anger into Compassion:
Anger is a temporary madness but still this temporary craziness has a huge potential to create a big room for stress, anxiety and even revenge in our otherwise cool and unbiased mind. Unfortunately, the person who is angry becomes the victim of his own thoughts while the person who has caused the hurt is either busy living his/her own damn life or completely oblivion to the other person’s hatred.
This is the reason why it is so very important to never take things personally (Remember the second agreement of the 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Riz ?). Whatever happens around you, don’t take things personally. Even if somebody calls you out, insults you, avoids you, hurts you or does something that transpires into anger – try not to take things personally.
On the contrary, introspect why the person said what they said. Maybe something terribly wrong is happening in their life that you have no idea of, maybe they are going through some crisis in their personal life maybe a loss in their business has made them irritable or perhaps there is some sort of work stress or maybe they are just a loner and deliberately saying things that they know might annoy you, only to grab your attention.
No matter what the situation or circumstances are, always remember, nothing that other people say or do is because of you. It is because of them and them only. Even if somebody insults or hurts you directly, or ignores you for no reason at all, remember, it has nothing to do with you. What they utter, what they do, and the thoughts they may or may not have about you is the product of their own mind which you have absolutely no control of.
So, if someone pass a comment on you like, “Hey, you are such a psycho” or “Hey, you look so ugly” don’t take it personally, because the reality is that this person is dealing with his or her own feelings, beliefs, and opinions. Their point of view is not your truth but theirs. Actually, when they are making annoying and nasty comments at you, they are fighting their own demons and battles that you know nothing about. You are simply an excuse for them to get mad and vent out their frustration or perhaps you are simply the wrong person at an absolutely wrong place and at a wrong time. Their madness is nothing about you but because of their own fears, insecurity, jealousy, depression, stress and/or sadness.
Yes, instead of thinking all about yourself and getting into the victim mode, think about them, why they said what they said. Within a matter of time, you will realize that it wasn’t about you but them. When you think from other person’s perspective and try to see from their mind’s eye and rewind the same situation this time by considering the other person, your anger will surely convert into compassion. Trust me, sometimes it won’t be just compassion, you might even feel pity for them.
Yes, this is precisely how you turn your anger into compassion while freeing yourself from your own prison of antagonism and rage. If you use this strategy in your life especially while dealing with different relationships in your life (i.e., with your spouse, children, parents, colleagues, associates etc.), trust me, you will not only be able to control your anger but also be able to lead a happy and healthy life.
I have been turning my anger into compassion this way, and if I can, so can you…