Losing the Plot: COVIDIOTS, Janta Curfew and Shaheen Bagh Protests!

A friend of mine shared with me a meme interesting and asked me, “Deepti shouldn’t Shaheen Bagh protestors too practice SOCIAL DISTANCING?” Wondering why I’m asked when PM is speaking, the cortex of my conscious brain did comprehend that when nothing could stop these fiesty Dadis, the scare of Coronavirus could finally halt them from protesting. What a masterstroke Corona, you nasty “made in China” globally destroying sensation!

Not to forget our braveheart Delhi Police who continuously strive to ensure that none of the Dadi(s) even with the mask sit and protest during their 7am to 9pm timings despite the entire protest have been scaled down to symbolic form of protest. Lockdown is lockdown after all and every citizen for humanity sake should know and follow this. So, what if you as COVIDIOTS wanted to celebrate the Junta curfew at 5pm with those dhols and tashas while rallying around the entire Amdavad. Bhai log, acche din is yet to come and so are the 15 lakhs in your account.

And although my ever speculating shakki dimaag like that of Anup Soni ponders as to why the Janta Curfew was specifically destined on Sunday, March 22 from 7am to 9 pm specifically, my neighbours playing balcony antaksharis with me while beating thallis during this time of self-quarantine assures me that ‘I ’in this time of crisis should simply trust and leave everything on God or simply our PM Modi ji. Yea, if only he could do surgical strike and wipe off this Covid-19!

So, while the economy burns, market dooms, daily wage workers go hungry, the already gira huwa rupee declines further, I sit in my room and read forwards from the WhatsApp university especially from the confirmed sources like screenshot of Big B’s twitter handle who sort of try to explain the ignorant me as to how the vibration of clapping can reduce the virus potency when done on 22nd March, the day of Amavasya. And just when I was about to shout ‘Eureka Eureka’ while my doctor friend was going from somewhere between ‘ailaaa to hainnnnnn’ Big B further in the same tweet tells the ‘unaware us’ that such 5pm cumulative vibration can better blood circulation. We Indians especially the Covidiots are simply genius, we have the solution for everything. Yea, also do not underestimate the power of gaumutra and gau dung as mentioned by Pragya Thakur time and again.

Now gau mutra and Pragya Thakur reminds me that Yogi ji was in a meeting with Jai Pratap Singh who was in a party with Kanika Kapoor who has been tested Covid-19 positive. While we have every right to blame the Baby Doll singer, why were these high-profile ministers too partying when the nation was already warned, ‘Bharatiya Janta, don’t party?’ And just when women were finally feeling safe on road during their night walks as even the anti-social elements were busy social distancing, why were the governors of Karnataka and Pondicherry making a procession out of the Janta curfew? Even when the alcohol buyers in Kerala have been standing meters apart in the queue equipped with masks and sanitizers? Didn’t you see the memes on Covidiots, oh boy!

Now that Janta curfew has made people know the importance of isolation as well as social distancing and even Shaheen Bagh protestors have been sitting at home after this massive lockdown across India, my dear fellow Indians living in the world of Santa, Banta and Ghanta farak nhi padta, let me bring to your notice, my fellow Covidiots, as I wash my hands with sanitizer again that Covid-19 has a homie too, and it goes by the name ‘Hanta’.

No, you cannot unsubscribe 2020 even if you are already done with your 90 days free subscription. So, self-quarantine, sip that Corona extra (beer) and chill!

Featured Cartoon by Sachin Bhinge

Facebook Comments
About Deepti Verma 299 Articles
Deepti Verma is a Political/Social Writer with an opinion on almost everything! Follow @universal_rover