Over the years, you might have heard several times in your life, about the need to be selfless and considerate; to give to others constantly, without expecting anything in return.
However, in the process of being selfless, how many meltdowns, breakdowns, and days of complete exhaustion have you had in your life from purely concentrating on others more often than concentrating on yourself?
Is showering self-love and self-care, an act of being selfish? After all, there is so much negativity attached to the term ‘selfish’ by our society. What does it really mean to be selfish?
Self-care is one of the highest and purest form of self love. It doesn’t mean, that, by loving yourself and giving priority to yourself, you lack consideration for others and concerned mainly with your own personal pleasure or profit. It simply means – ‘Choosing Yourself’
Most of us women are taught to and are biologically wired to give, give, and give, without expecting anything in return. Our family, our immediate circle and our society constantly feeds us with the ‘giving’ mentality and we nurture around the same thoughts of giving, so much that, whenever we give priority to ‘ourselves’ over others, it makes us guilty.
We continue giving until we have our meltdowns. Next, we are depressed and we even end up falling sick, thinking why and where ‘we’ went wrong?
Obviously, forgetting the fact that we cannot be our best version, if we keep our selfless mode on. Needless to say, one cannot be the light to the world, if one fails to put oneself first.
This is the reason why you must –
Allow yourself to love yourself, allow yourself to do what makes you happy, and allow yourself to ‘invest’ in yourself. You’ll start noticing that you are much happier. This happiness is going to shift your energy, making you even more energetic than before. This happiness is going to raise your vibration; helping you in contributing much more to your family, both, emotionally and financially.
Yes, you will not just raise the vibration of yourself, but that of your family and surroundings too; simply by taking care of yourself first. Self-love and self-care, after all, is not a selfish act. Living a life that serves you beautifully, is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it is important, and necessary.
Would you rather be empty inside or you would want happiness to overflow? Still, if you think by choosing yourself, you will appear selfish, here are few questions to consider –
Can your family and the surrounding you live in, be a better place if you are unhappy? Won’t it be better if you are happy? How on earth can you serve your family, community and others with your exhausted energy?
For a moment, think, how does your joy, happiness, and contentment affect everybody around you? Does it by any chance hurt them?
Now that you have answered the questions, what is there to feel guilty about? You are obviously hurting no one by choosing yourself. So, allow the guilt to go off from your mind. Let the stigma around self-love evaporate out from your conscious.
When you choose yourself first, you’ll choose others too. You can serve both, and have it all. By choosing self-love and self-care, you can be happy and make others happy too, which obviously is not equal to being selfish.
Perhaps, this is the reason why Lucille Bell rightly said,
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”